The BullShit I Am Not Going To Teach My Son(Maybe You Should Too)

The Big Boys Don’t Cry or Show Any Emotions. Boys do not dress in pink. Fight like a man. What the hell is going on? Why are we telling our boys this shit?

Men Need Men.

First and foremost, men miss out on valuable friendships. Men are expected to hang out with a certain crowd, whether it’s a sporting crowd, a biking crowd, a gym crowd, or whatever. Hanging out with the guys is fun, but it doesn’t lend itself to much more than a few slaps on the back, a few cold beers, each man trying to fit in, trying to be cool, trying to be accepted and considered one of the boys, and the truth is they haven’t been taught how to have true friendships.

We can’t emphasise this enough Dads. This is the stereotype, and many men fall into it by believing it is what is expected of them. People also believe that men cannot have genuine intimate relationships with another male, and that if they do, the relationship must be more than just friendship, which is total nonsense.

Love Is Love.

Why Men Have Difficulty Expressing Emotion.

Relationships can be frustrating for both partners in a heterosexual relationship when the man is unable to constructively share his feelings, worries, or anxieties because he has been taught not to discuss these issue. He keeps them bottled up and rarely lets his partner in to share his concerns. This can cause a breakdown in communication between the couple and long-term damage to the relationship.

According to Psychology Today, traditional masculine role socialization has channeled numerous men into ways of being in they are confused with the many emotions they experience and also what they feel or what they are allowed to express. It creates a unique (some may even say scary) experience when discussing emotional issues with a male friend or partner.

Men are Expected to Pursue a Specific Career Path.

We do this For our Boys.

This means that many men are forced to work in jobs for which they are uninterested. Even in 2022, certain jobs are perceived to be women’s jobs while others are perceived to be men’s jobs. How often do you come across male beauty therapists? Or perhaps a male hairdresser? He has to be gay. Right? We’re not even sure every family would feel safe dropping their child off at school if the teacher was a male. Masculinity determines which jobs are appropriate for men and which are not. Men that choose a more feminine role. They are mocked or ridiculed, making it difficult for men to pursue their passion.

Sports is Not Really Your Thing.

Guys, it’s so awkward telling another guy (in some cases a woman) that sports aren’t your thing. Men are expected to simply enjoy the game. Guys may feel excluded and isolated as a result of this. I mean, what guy doesn’t enjoy sports? He’s got to be gay or something.

The terms sex and gender are often used interchangeably, and people often assume that the sex one is assigned at birth dictates the gender one is. In reality, though, gender identity and sex refer to different things.

You’re a gay man. If you like other men, many gay men enjoy playing and watching sports, just as many straight men do not. Hobbies do not define your sexuality any more than gender does.

The single most powerful thing I can be is to be myself.

Dwayne Johnson

Men must be tough and willing to fight.

No More Acting Tough.

However, if you look at the most incredible male role models, you will notice that this rhetoric is changing after Justin Baldoni delivered the most incredible TED talk titled Why I’m Done Trying to Be Man Enough. And we highly recommend watching this whether you’re a man or a woman; for women, it provides a beautiful insight into a person who wasn’t or isn’t given the grace to just be themselves; and for men, it reminds them that other men are walking the same path and are tired of pretending to be something they’re not. It’s exhausting, he says, to be mad enough for everyone all the time.

“Of the 13 774 suicides reported in South Africa, 10 861 were men while 2 913 were women – translating to a rate of 37,6 per 100 000 for men and 9,8 per 100 000 for women.”

South African Society of Psychiatrists

“Men are five times more likely to die by suicide than women and often use more aggressive methods. Although surveys reveal that women are diagnosed more than men with mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, men don’t speak about their feelings until it is too late,”.

South African Society of Psychiatrists

So, what is the alternative to all of these stereotypes that are causing harm to men today? It will not be easy, but new norms must be established. Men must understand and be told that it is acceptable to seek assistance. It is acceptable to be vulnerable. To be sexy and attractive, you don’t have to be a bad boy. You can perform any household chore, and your gender identity is determined by you and not outdated social constructs.

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